In one of her first official acts as vice president, back in February, Kamala Harris decided to declare what she called a “national emergency.” Right off the bat, that seemed weird. Normally it’s the president’s job to declare national emergencies. The vice president’s job is to oversee vice. Just kidding. We’re not sure what the vice president’s job is, but it’s definitely not that.
But Kamala Harris did it anyway, in the pages of Jeff Bezos’ personal newspaper, the Washington Post. This new national emergency, Kamala Harris informed us, is “the mass exodus of women from the workforce.” Apparently, there are still some women in America who secretly prefer to raise their own children, rather than toil away like worker bees for some soulless publicly-traded corporation. Wall Street is upset about that, of course, so Harris sounded the alarm. Our female workforce emergency, she wrote, “demands a national solution.”
Five months later, we’re sad to tell you, that crisis is still ongoing. There are women, even now, who’ve chosen to skip the HR department’s latest zoom call on workplace diversity initiatives, and are instead reading their children a bedtime story. That’s a tragedy.